It required a presence, a brutal honesty to put something out there and see what happens. Sometimes it was inspired and the thrill was exhilarating, other times it was painful and the result was humiliating. But somehow it didn’t matter. What mattered was going out there and doing it, not thinking about it, not worrying what others might think, not even being attached to a particular result, just doing it.
. . .
Mindfulness means to be present, in the moment, undistracted. It implies resting the mind in its natural state of awareness, which is free of any bias or judgment.
. . .
So mindfulness means to be present. It means being ‘in the moment’, experiencing life directly as it unfolds, rather than being distracted, caught up and lost in thought. It’s not a contrived or temporary state of mind that you need to somehow create and maintain. On the contrary, it’s a way of stepping back and resting the mind in its natural state, free from the usual chaos. Take a moment to imagine what it might be like to live life this way. Imagine how it would be to drop all the baggage, the stories, the arguments, the judgments and agendas that take up so much space in the mind. This is what it means to be mindful.
. . .
He said that it was the one thing that could never be taken away from him, that no matter what else happened to him in life, he would always have this place within himself to return to.
. . .
By focusing less on your own worries and more on the potential happiness of others you actually create more headspace for yourself.
. . .
So, the first thing to get straight is that meditation does not make you think! All it does is shine a big bright light on your mind so that you can see it more clearly. This bright light is awareness. You may not like what you see when you switch the light on, but it’s a clear and accurate reflection of how your mind behaves on a daily basis.
. . .
But it turns out no amount of force will result in a feeling of calm.
. . .
In stepping back from the thoughts and feelings, there will be a sense of increased space. It might feel as if you are simply an observer, watching the thoughts, the traffic, go by.
. . .
The point is, don’t be a slave to your mind. If you want to direct your mind and use it well, then good. But what use is the mind if it’s all over the place, with no sense of direction or stability?
. . .
It is stepping back and allowing the mind to unwind in its own time and its own way that you will find a genuine sense of headspace.
. . .
We’re attracted to the things we like and we become attached to these things. We don’t want to give them up for anything. The only problem is, the more we chase after them the further away they appear. And the more we try to hold on to these pleasant feelings, the more fearful we become of losing them.
. . .
"Happiness is just happiness," he went on, "no big deal. It comes and it goes. Sadness is just sadness, no big deal. It comes and it goes. If you can give up your desire to always experience pleasant things, at the same time as giving up your fear of experiencing unpleasant things, then you’ll have a quiet mind."
. . .
True happiness doesn’t distinguish between the kind of happiness you get from having fun and the sadness you feel when something goes wrong. Meditation is not about finding this kind of happiness. If you want to find this kind of happiness then go to a party. The kind of happiness that I’m talking about is the ability to feel comfortable no matter what emotion arises.
. . .
It just so happens that when you’re more aware there is very little room for these unpleasant emotions to operate. When you’re thinking about them all the time, then of course you give them lots of room, you keep them active. But if you don’t think about them, then they tend to lose their momentum.
. . .
In order to resist something you need to have an idea of what it is. Often our “idea” of a feeling is just that, an idea. When we look a little more closely, we see that the idea is actually not what we thought it was. This makes it very difficult to resist. And with no resistance, there is simply acceptance of the emotion.
. . .
Sometimes our emotional states can become so ingrained, they start to feel like traits.
. . .
Headspace does not mean being free from emotions, but rather existing in a place where you are at ease with whatever emotion is present.
. . .
[W]e can sometimes plough through life, trying to get to the end of everything and not really paying attention to the journey. By taking the time to pause, and be curious, I could have so easily avoided the entire situation. Instead, I was so caught up in the pursuit of free time that I ploughed on through. Ironically, any free time I did have was then spent worrying about what I’d done.
. . .
You see these pitfalls, but the habit is so strong you can’t help yourself from falling.
. . .
Part of the reason that we get so easily drawn into these stories is that we’re so used to doing something, being involved in something, that it can feel a bit boring to just sit and watch the mind, especially if the thoughts are mundane. We create these stories in an attempt to make things interesting, to get away from the boredom. But have you ever stayed with boredom long enough to look at what it is?
. . .
And so the day goes on, forever caught up in the highs and lows of all that’s going on around you. The one thing that remains the same throughout the day is that your thinking dictates the way you feel. In the absence of awareness, the realm of thought takes over.
. . .
How can you be happy and feel connected with others if you are always caught up in your own thoughts?
. . .
In fact, I was so absorbed in my own thoughts that I couldn’t even see that in reality the real cause of anger was simply me not getting what I wanted. I guess you could call it attachment, wanting something so much that when you don’t get it you resist, you struggle.
. . .
It can sometimes feel as though we’re so busy remembering, planning and analysing life, that we forget to experience life – as it actually is, rather than how we think it should be.
. . .
[T]he level of effort you apply to life will almost certainly be reflected in your meditation.
. . .
Resist the temptation to try and get rid of it somehow. You may well find that in the process of awareness, the tension naturally releases itself anyway.
. . .
Strange as that may sound, very often the more effort you put into it, the more you tighten up, and so the more you slow down.
. . .
Have you ever noticed how much emphasis some people place on even the smallest amount of difficulty in their lives, and how little time they spend reflecting on moments of happiness? Part of the reason for this goes back to the idea that happiness is somehow ‘rightfully ours’, and that everything else is therefore wrong or out of place.
